"Writing in a clear, accessible style, the author focuses on how to alleviate the intense feelings and stress that often accompany dealing with such difficult people. This book could also be a resource for those working with alcoholics and others engaging in self-centered patterns of destructive behavior. This is a book for practitioners, mediators, marriage and family therapists, and those in training for those professions; it is not for laypersons. Highly recommended. Graduate students and professionals." - Choice"No doubt you have worked for one of them, been taught by one of them, or married one of them. They brag, take credit for the work of others, expect favors but give none, never listen, and know what is right and best, regardless of the topic. Take heart. Brown has a name for these people and she assures us they and not we are the problem. Far from urging those who must endure those with destructive narcissistic behaviors and attitudes to get over it, get behind it, or just take it, she carefully describes the specific behaviors you can diffuse by recognizing them and moderating the impact on yourself, including blocking identification, understanding your own cognitive distortion, using emotional insulation and refusing to empathize." - Reference Research Book News"[N]ina Brown, is clearly the authority on the DNP. Thus, if you have to interact regularly with someone you suspect may exhibit DNP, then this is without a doubt the book you should read for help." - metapsychology.mentalhelp.net"Narcissistic behaviors displayed by those in power, friends and lovers affect everyone and are prevalent throughout society, which is why Coping with Infuriating, Mean, Critical People is so important and explains a destructive mental pattern which takes hold and affects many. Methods to help victims of this behavior are provided and come from a scholar/professor in Educational Leadership and Counseling, covering everything from indifference to others and emotional intimacy challenges to projection, protection and conquering loneliness. An outstanding guide surveys both victims and survivors as well as the narcissistic personality, this book is a pick for not only college-level holdings strong in psychology and sociology, but for general-interest library collections." - Library BookwatchAbout the AuthorNINA W. BROWN is a Professor and Eminent Scholar in the Educational Leadership and Counseling Department at Old Dominion University. what are the top 10 best selling books right now Coping with Infuriating, Mean, Critical People: The Destructive Narcissistic Pattern
6 of 6 people found the following review helpful. Not as helpful as expectedBy CustomerThis book can be a valuable read. If you are feeling trapped in your own mind and wondering why you just can't seem to have a normal conversation with somebody, with this book you can find out if this is caused by destructive narcissism. If you have a personal, familial or professional relationship to a narcissist, it will also make you face the truth you probably suspected but didn't want to believe: They will never change, no matter what you do. They will never connect to you in a loving, kind, or at least respectful way. Lose these unrealistic expectations and evaluate your options. On the list of advantages, I can also mention that it is written in an accessible style and is very well structured.But the book falls short at the "coping" promise. The strategies proposed are either trite and unlikely to do much (imagine putting up walls around you before starting a conversation with the narcissist) or require that you go into therapy yourself to implement them - with the result that you will still get hurt a lot, but will be able to bear the constant emotional pain easier. This may be a honest description of the situation, but it doesn't live up to the expectations promised by the title. I also wish it would spend more time on the choice between keeping the relationship at these costs and just terminating it. Of course, giving up a job or a family member is a major life change, not to be undertaken lightly; but committing to years of therapy just to be able to bear the relationship is a grim prospect too. Beyond that, I have my doubts that all of the suggested strategies are as effective as the author describes it; some appear vague, others (stop being angry by sheer force of will) impossible to attain. There were also some internal contradictions within the book.The book can certainly help somebody who is struggling, but I have the feeling that it promises much more than it delivers, and also mixes good information with somewhat questionable ideas without much distinction. So it only gets an average rating from me.1 of 1 people found the following review helpful. Yes.By D.GoeckelLoved this book. I practically highlighted the whole thing. For someone new to the topic, it spelled out the spectrum of narcissism simply and clearly. It gives practical ideas for coping, but most importantly (for me), it helped me to look at how I'm investing my energy in my interactions. I can see a little more clearly and make different choices, based on this new found info. Yes, you may not be able to avoid these people, but you can change how you interact/react.Personally, this book held many "Aha" moments for me, which resulted in a sense of burden being lifted off my shoulders. This book helped me to see where I need to step back and reevaluate how I expend my resources (time, attention, energy, etc.).12 of 17 people found the following review helpful. Narcissistic behaviors displayed by those in power, friends and loversBy Midwest Book ReviewNarcissistic behaviors displayed by those in power, friends and lovers affect everyone and are prevalent throughout society, which is why Coping with Infuriating, Mean, Critical People is so important and explains a destructive mental pattern which takes hold and affects many. Methods to help victims of this behavior are provided and come from a scholar/professor in Educational Leadership and Counseling, covering everything from indifference to others and emotional intimacy challenges to projection, protection and conquering loneliness. An outstanding guide surveys both victims and survivors as well as the narcissistic personality, this book is a pick for not only college-level holdings strong in psychology and sociology, but for general-interest library collections.