From the Back CoverAn exploration of the darker side of maternal behavior drawn from scientific research, psychology, and the real-life experiences of adult daughters, Mean Mothers sheds light on one of the last cultural taboos: what happens when a woman doesn't or can't love her daughter.Mean Mothers reveals the multigenerational thread that often runs through these storiesmany unloving mothers are the daughters of unloving or hypercritical womenand explores what happens to a daughter's sense of self and to her relationships when her mother is emotionally absent or even cruel. But Mean Mothers is also a narrative of hope, recounting how daughters can get past the legacy of hurt to become whole within and to become loving mothers to the next generation of daughters. The personal stories of unloved daughters and sons and those of the author herself, are both unflinching and moving, and bring this most difficult of subjects to life.Mean Mothers isn't just a book for daughters who've had difficult or impossible relationships with their mothers. By exposing the myths of motherhood that prevent us from talking about the women for whom mothering a daughter is fraught with ambivalence, tension, or even jealousy, Mean Mothers also casts a different light on the extraordinary influence mothers have over their female children as well as the psychological complexity and emotional depth of the mother-daughter relationship.About the AuthorPeg Streep is both the daughter of a mean mother and the devoted mother of an adult daughter. She is the author or coauthor of eleven books, including Quitting--Why We Fear It and Why We Shouldn't-- in Life, love, and work,Girl in the Mirror: Mothers and Daughters in the Years of Adolescence and the bestselling Necessary Journeys: Letting Ourselves Learn from Life, both with Dr. Nancy L. Snyderman. Streep holds degrees in English from the University of Pennsylvania and Columbia University. She is a blogger for PsychologyToday.comandlivesinNewYorkCity. why is flat design good Mean Mothers: Overcoming the Legacy of Hurt
30 of 30 people found the following review helpful. How can you not love your mother?By D. Rachel Coleman, (Author of Why Do I Fill My Life With Mess Then Wonder Why I Feel Like Crap?)You can't tell anyone you don't have a loving relationship with your mother. If you do people look at you as if you're the problem.Another book I recommend to clients.33 of 34 people found the following review helpful. Would recommend to this anyone of either gender or age.By PenroseTribarA wide audience can appreciate this book. It is not a manual on mothering, nor is it a replacement for therapy. It does concisely explain without casting too many stones; basic balm for ignored or unwanted daughters left to raise themselves in dysfunctional families that are more the norm than most societies are brave enough to admit. Female reproduction has been made so ubiquitous, even forced, that the world today has lost or doesn't fully appreciate the salient fact that every mother was first a daughter. Generations of mothering and how societies value women - or not - impacts how daughters are then valued and raised, which then affects how their offspring are raised - sons and daughters. And on it goes. I read this in conjunction with Dr. Susan Forward's "Mothers Who Can't Love". Both are good resources and can be useful companions to each other. Forward's is more clinical anecdotal and Streep's is broader, more sociological."Mean Mothers" touches on the maternal core, as well as the sequential circle of relationships knitted together within the family (though not necessarily in a knitted family; there is a difference) - the father, siblings and even grandparents. While "Mean Mothers" is less diagnostic, it might be more relatable on several layers to females who sustained childhood trauma and damaging messages of conditioning from more than just their mother: Rarely does that maternal influence occur in a vacuum or within just one generation. Particularly useful is that Streep delves into the marriage dynamics that often set up the treatment of girl children by the mother and father. Also addressed is birth order, temperament matching or "fit" between mothers and offspring, preferences for male offspring that deeply harm a daughter's sense of self, worth and place in the world. Also useful is that there are enough maternal and family configurations to help someone recognize the underlying family core of friends, mates and even co-workers. While Streep makes it clear mothering is a unique and profoundly challenging job, she also makes it clear the health and well-being of the now adult daughter is paramount. This simple concept might make it easier for those daughters who have quietly, bravely chosen to divorce their corrosive mother or toxic extended family that are locked in dysfunctional patterns.0 of 0 people found the following review helpful. For daughters and sons.By CustomerFantastic book that despite the focus on daughters has a lot to say to sons, just mentally edit out daughters here and there and be aware you're likely lucky male socialization can make escape a little easier. Incredibly valuable and if you're a writer without relevant experiences pick it up to flesh out characters.