"I hear from people every day who struggle with feeling controlled or manipulated by a spouse, friend, family member, or coworker. Finallly... advice that works!" Lysa TerKeurst, New York Times best-selling author of Made to Crave what year are books in the public domain Break Through: When to Give In, How to Push Back
6 of 6 people found the following review helpful. life changer for meBy chuck landeI have been married for 18 years. On the outside most people would believe that my life was perfect. 2 well mannered teens, a beautiful home, 2 dogs, and all the comforts and luxuries from owning a successful small business. We attended church faithfully every Sunday as well. Yet, below the surface I was dying inside because years of unresolved conflict in my relationship with my spouse. Over the last several years we went to 4-5 different counselors, attended a few powerful 3 day workshops, yet we still stayed stuck in the crazy cycle. This book has totally opened my eyes and changed my life. As a faithful Christian Man, I am called to lay down my life as Christ did for the church and to love her unconditionally yet at home I was being abused verbally (and even on an occasion physically) by my spouse. For years, each and every time I desired to talk about my deepest matters of the heart (parenting, money, sexual intimacy, etc) my wife's demeanor would turn into an anger raged, venom spitting warrior. The phrases "Your an idiot", "why are you so stupid", "I wouldn't be this way if you wouldn't make me angry", "Your the one who brought this on". Not to mention all the vulgar names I was being called. After the verbal beating she would storm off to the other room to begin the punishment phase where she would sleep in the other room for a few days, make little or no eye contact during the that period and basically punish me until the desire to talk about a problem was long buried beneath the desire to end the punishment. In the past I would retreat and pray for God to give me the strength to endure the suffering in order to love my wife like Christ loved the church. The saddest part of it all is that she has never apologized or asked for forgiveness on a single occasion in 18 years.This book was able to breakthrough to me that pushing back in a god honoring way is ACTUALLY LOVING your spouse. I was lacking the faith in God to sustain me through the "pushing back".at this point in my life I have spoken the truth in love to my spouse and have told her (via letter) that those days of abuse, manipulation, avoidance, withdraw and escalation are over. I understand that I can not make her change,,but I can change what my response is. I have decided to push back in a loving manner in an attempt to put an end to the dysfunction and I have faith that either we will reconcile and have an incredible testimony to share with others OR God will open the doors to a great new life for me.If you have similar stories about people in your life that seem to drag you into those spots where things just don't feel,right then I highly recommend the book1 of 1 people found the following review helpful. Essential reading for anyone in a toxic relationshipBy C. L. MeehanI bought this book for a friend struggling in a relationship with her son, and ended up reading it myself. It's a clear, concise book with deep insight and solid recommendations for both the enabler and the enabler's "victim". To some degree we have all developed unhealthy interaction techniques. I saw myself on both sides of the issue- the one hurting those I love, and sometimes the one getting hurt. Both positions are addressed. There is no condemnation here, only clear, compassionate and practical advice. Excellent book that I believe can make a real difference in the life of anyone who really wants to have healthier and more joyful relationships.2 of 2 people found the following review helpful. insightful into my own pastBy Naomi FataI have read Boundaries by Dr. Henry cloud and Dr. Townsend. That helped me in a lot of ways move forward with good relationships. This book is a great counterpart helping to examine the root issues of our faulty relationships and provides guidance for working through them.I also really appreciate how the authors point out that when we elevating a human relationship it affects what we do and how we act because we are so concerned about making peace or pleasing someone and this keeps Christ from being the most important relationship in our lives