Melissa Stanton never set out to be a stay-at-home mother. It just sort of happened as the result of a confluence of events -- her husband taking an out-of-state job, her own long commute to a high-pressure New York magazine editing job, and the Sept. 11 terror attacks. 'I woke up one day and said, `You know what? That's it. I need to live a different life,'?' she said. Ms. Stanton, who now lives in Davidsonville, admits she didn't know quite what she was getting into when she left the workforce. But she's gained a lot of experience and is determined to pass it on to other women. Her book, 'The Stay-at-Home Survival Guide: Field-Tested Strategies for Staying Smart, Sane, and Connected While Caring for Your Kids,' came out June 1. It packs plenty of advice for moms who may be feeling a bit isolated and under-appreciated in their new roles. 'It's so chock-full of tips (and) practical things,' said Krista Lyons-Gould, publisher of Berkeley-based Seal Press, which put out the guide. Ms. Stanton, 43, consulted with about 100 stay-at-home mothers and surveyed more than 60 in detail to gain a broad perspective for the book. The guide includes chapters on everything from finances and friends to sex and strategies for keeping sane. 'There's a little humor and a lot of substance,' said Ginny Meerman of Edgewater, who has four children and has been a stay-at-home mother for 18 years. 'I'm still amazed that I did it,' she said. 'The book was a lot of work, but it was really good to have done it. I hope it gets attention. I think it's a useful book.' -- Hometown Annapolis, June 19, 2008No one ever said that staying home with kids was easy. But now, thanks to this new book by Melissa Stanton, you'll have somewhere to turn whenever you're feeling a little lonely, under-appreciated, or overwhelmed. Stanton, a magazine editor turned stay-at-home herself, understands all too well both the joys and the challenges that come with staying home with your children full time. For this book, she draws not only on her own experience, but also on the experiences of other moms, who she spoke to and surveyed at length. With information about dealing with everything from money and scheduling to friendships and marriage, Stanton has the advice you need for every situation and the sympathy and understanding you've been hoping for. No one understands a stay-at-home mom like another stay-at-home mom, which gives Stanton the insights to make this Survival Guide a valuable resource for moms everywhere. -- Mom Central, June 26, 2008 what is the best book reading app The Stay-at-Home Survival Guide: Field-Tested Strategies for Staying Smart, Sane, and Connected While Caring for Your Kids
9 of 10 people found the following review helpful. An Honest, non-judgemental enjoyable read filled with real practical advice and experienceBy tsfiraI began searching for a book on this subject when I was struggling between the decision to resume my career after the birth of my children, or stay home to raise them. In this book I finally found a real balanced and honest view on what it would be like to transition from working outside the home to raising children at home. I looked at many other books on the subject but everything else was very judgmental and insisted that one way or another is the only right option for American families, for women in general, for equality, for children, for the workplace, etc. None spoke directly to the woman facing or making this difficult decision. Reading Stanton's book was so refreshing, sometimes funny, and was like having an honest chat with a girlfriend who has your best interest at heart. I recommend this book to women who are either struggling with the the home/work dilemma or those who decided to leave or take a break from their career in order to raise a family. It is filled with invaluable advice and anecdotes from women of different backgrounds on topics ranging from finance to sex to friendships to play dates. It is also a great read. I refer to it often and I can't say enough about this wonderful book.2 of 2 people found the following review helpful. Realistic and helpful!By Laura A. NeumanI recommend this book to anyone who has had a fulfilling career and is now choosing (or not) to become a full-time/stay-at-home parent. I have read many books on the subject and found this to be one of the best. It's not a feel-good book to praise you for your decision. It is really focused on how to get the most out of the job!I love(d) my career but also felt it was important to be with my children, especially in their early years. I have found it isolating and frustrating. It is also wonderful and joyful...and downright funny at times. Any job has its good points and bad points...unless it has been your lifelong dream to care for home and family (not a bad thing) then you will also find it challenging at times.This book offers good advice and frank discussion on the subject. It was helpful, instructional and gave me a boost!!4 of 5 people found the following review helpful. What does it really mean to be a SAHM today?By Monika Ulrich MyersThis book was extremely well-written: fun, lively, and easy to follow. This is important since, if you're like me, you're reading this book in five minute chunks with a somewhat addled brain.There is a lot going on in this book. I mention here three themes that gave me a lot to think about:Theme 1: We should get "real" about motherhood. It's not all peaches and cream like everyone says.Theme 2: Being a Stay-at-Home Mom is 24/7. Their workday often runs from 5am to midnight, or beyond.Theme 3: Being a Stay-at-Home Mom is a real job, just like paid employment.I have some concerns about all three themes.Concern about theme 1: I don't really know anyone anymore who says that motherhood is all rosy, all the time. It's not a new thing to write the "true confessions" of motherhood. Most mothers I know are pretty honest about the fact that their kids probably watch too much TV, that their house is never really clean, and that their kids don't really eat a super-healthy diet. But maybe I just hang out with unusually honest women.Concern about theme 2: I'm not really clear why being a SAHM is 24/7. Most of these women she discusses have spouses. Presumably, those spouses do come home from work sometime. It seems to me that the women are a SAHM during the hours that their spouse is at work. During the other hours (evening, overnight, weekend, early morning), they are not a stay-at-home mom, they are just a MOM and their spouse is just a DAD, both with shared childcare/household responsibilities. I'm not sure why the author so unproblematically accepts the idea that a SAHM has 24/7 responsibility for children, which seems to really let the other spouse off the hook.Concern about theme 3: By saying that a SAHM is a "real job," just like paid employment, the author is trying to give it value and legitimacy. But it is a problematic comparison, because it implies that paid employment is inherently valuable and legitimate. Lots of paid employment is worthless. Lots of unpaid tasks are very valuable and legitimate, like creating artwork or buying nice gifts. I'm not sure why we have to say that being a SAHM is a "real job" in order to make it clear that it is valuable. Maybe we should try to legitimate the value of paid employment by saying it is just as valuable as being a SAHM?Overall, however, this was an excellent and thought provoking book. My complaints are more about the nature of being a SAHM in modern day society and less about this particular author's take on it.