From Publishers WeeklyFelder, a psychologist and author of Making Peace with Your Parents, notes that people can learn to live with their annoying and difficult relatives, but not by trying to change them. Instead, by figuring out what triggers certain behavior patterns, people can be more accepting and also devise compromises. Using situations from his life as well as examples from his patients, Felder walks readers through the kinds of analysis and solutions they should seek. For example, one matriarch insists on serving Thanksgiving dinner late in the day, when some relatives have already drunk too much and the children are overtired. The woman insists this is the way the holiday has always been celebrated. Finally, her children ask her to try an "experiment" and for one year, start the dinner earlier. The evening turns out to be far more pleasant, and afterwards, relatives call, thanking her for such an enjoyable dinner. Another strategy favored by Felder is to find allies. A woman always has to listen to relatives talk about calories and dieting. She asks her grandfather to help her. He announces a moratorium on discussing food, and the family ends up having conversations about other matters. Felder's tips are practical as he offers specific suggestions on what to say, but what makes his approach so helpful is his assumption that there is no perfect resolution; instead, readers should aim for a middle ground. This is an excellent book for anyone looking for fewer arguments and less tension around family members.Copyright 2003 Reed Business Information, Inc. "This book will be a huge help for everyone, and especially for the sensitive people found in all extended families. They are the ones most aware of the value of closeness, most diligent in their efforts to bring harmony, and most miserable around their family's not-so-sensitive, intrusive members. Felder helps us see how to have that cherished dream of family togetherness and our personal boundaries, too." --Elaine Aron, Ph.D., author of The Highly Sensitive Person "I love this book! Once again, Leonard Felder offers us deep awareness and profound help. When Difficult Relatives Happen to Good People is practical, clear, and compelling. There is much wisdom here to help you move out of being victimized by your relatives and into your personal power. I especially appreciate the union of psychology and spirituality."--Margaret Paul, Ph.D., author of Do I Have to Give Up Me to Be Loved by You? what are the best selling books of 2018 When Difficult Relatives Happen to Good People
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful. Five StarsBy CustomerGreat Read! I purchased a second one for my sister1 of 1 people found the following review helpful. Useful and practical book.By Invisible InkerThis is an intuitive and useful book! Makes you realize you are not the only one who experiences this, and offers suggestions to change "the dance!"0 of 0 people found the following review helpful. book worth readingBy Renee Wallacegood reading