Widely published parenting expert Dolores Curran offers insight on better communication between children and parents. Curran's practical and humorous responses to more than 200 children's classic questions make this book an effective tool for daily family life. A 1999 Parents' Choice Approval. (Parents' Choice) -- From Parents' ChoiceAbout the AuthorAward-winning author Dolores Curran expanded a genre that included only advice about mothering when she began in the early 1970s, incorporating the entire scope of family life issues into her work. Her articles have appeared in over 100 magazines and journals, including McCalls, Redbook and Parents Magazine. In 1984, Curran received a Christopher Award in the Best Adult Book category for Traits of a Healthy Family, and in 1986 Penn State University honored her with a Celebrate the Family Award, given to recognize outstanding work on family issues. From 1987-1991, Curran worked as a Family Resource Consultant for Ireland, giving lectures around the country. She currently serves on the advisory boards of Practical Parenting Education and Family Information Services. Known for speaking "parent language," Currans sense of humor and practical advice has attracted many readers to her work. Parents literally asked to read excerpts from Tired of Arguing with Your Kids? off her computer screen as she wrote. "Parents are hungry for these skills," Curran says. Curran has applied those skills herself, raising three grown children. She and her husband, James, currently live in Littleton, Colorado.Excerpt. Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved."Eighty percent or more of the arguments we have with children are non-arguments. Worse, they are draining and unproductive. If parents possess, say, one hundred units of daily energy to deal with children and we expend them on non-issues which deserve non-answers, its little wonder that we are exhausted, impatient, and disenchanted with children so much of the time. I am also convinced that parents recognize the futility of most arguments with children but they don't know the right words to invoke to initiate change. That's what this book is all about. In the past several years, I have collected parents' effective responses to children's classic questions, complaints, charges, and arguments. I wish I could write that these are my own wise and original responses but most of them come from parents who have decided that family life isnt worth the ongoing argumentation that passes as communication in many American families. We parents need to share our experiences and wisdom. I wish I had some of these creative responses 20 years ago when I was arguing with a five-year-old whether meatloaf was good or yucky. Back then, I argued. Today, Id simply agree, smile, and serve it. Older parents, parents whose children had grown up and left home, were my primary resources. They had learned to keep conflict in perspective. They had discovered that parents can ignore arguments without losing respect or control. And they were willing to share both their techniques and failures, bless them. If I were reparenting these same three today, I would agree, ignore, and smile more -- and defend, explain, and mediate less. I would not play, as I once did, the presiding judge when they fought during play, asking patiently, 'Now, who started this? Then what happened? Who had the ball first? Why did you grab it? Did you say that to him? You know thats not permitted in this family.' Eventually, as I matured in age and parenting, I learned to allow their conflicts to be their conflicts, recognizing their need to learn to get along without a parent referee. I simply asked them to go out of range of my hearing if they wanted to fight. Our task is to learn to weed out the important arguments from the non-arguments. When we are able to do this, we can spend those precious units of energy on the really important feelings and issues of children. Non-arguments are those which are initiated by children to get parental attention, to alleviate boredom, to resist responsibility, and to contest parental authority. Non-arguments are those that are never settled and put away but rather are replayed daily as part of the family ritual. This book is devoted to dealing with these frustrating replays so we can preserve our energy to deal with issues which deserve our attention." how can i download pdf books for free Tired of Arguing with Your Kids?: Wisdom from Parents Who Have Been There
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful. Helpful bookBy E T in COI had checked this book out from the library. When I started reading it there were numerous passages that I would have highlighted had it not been a library book. The information in this book nicely complements the theories that are taught in Love and Logic.0 of 0 people found the following review helpful. main msg. detachBy vIt had some good ideas and was just as informative as the pricier ones i bought, Not much new, but i wish i had just bought this first, i could've saved $$.8 of 9 people found the following review helpful. From whining to monster spray...Curran does it againBy mary jo pedersenWisdom and humor are typical of Curran, but she really outdoes herself this time in "Tired of Arguing". This book gives practical suggestions to parents around issues from chronic whining to monster spray. I underlined most of it and laughed out loud over and over again at her ingenious responses to children's tedius arguments. Curran gives practical help to parents who fall into the "anger trap" and shows how humor is both a great defense and offense in the game of parenting. The "Handy Responses to Kids' Arguments" was my favorite part of the book...straightforward, honest,and effective! Anyone with a child in the argumentative years (ie, age 3-23) should have this book!