From Publishers WeeklyOpting out," "off-ramping" and "following the mommy track" are all popular terms to describe professional women who leave their jobs to be stay-at-home moms. But do they describe the truth of the matter? Stone, an associate professor of sociology at Hunter College and the CUNY Graduate Center, set out to answer this question after discovering that there was no research on the matter; perceptions of these women were shaped almost exclusively by the media. Stone conducted in-depth interviews with 54 women: white women who had been highly successful professionals and were married to men who could support them while they stayed at homei.e., women who had a "choice." What Stone found was fascinating and surprising: women quit because of work, not family, and only as a last resort: "They have been unsuccessful in their efforts to find flexibility or... because they found themselves marginalized and stigmatized, negatively reinforced for trying to hold onto their careers after becoming mothers." These women were abandoning "all-or-nothing" workplaces where the demands were so unrelenting that, as one mutual fund trader put it, "there were days when I couldn't get up from my desk to go to the bathroom." Stone's revealing study adds an important counterpoint to Leslie Bennetts's forthcoming The Feminine Mistake. (May) Copyright Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved. A highly worthwhile book. where can i find public domain books Opting Out?: Why Women Really Quit Careers and Head Home
30 of 31 people found the following review helpful. A nicely balanced look at the pros and cons of opting out, with real examplesBy KcornWhat I particularly liked about this book: Stone's interviews and discussions with actual women who decided to opt out of working (even though many of them could have made big bucks) as well as her solid research. Readers should be aware that the author, by her own admission (p. 15 of the book), focused on white married women with children and that these women had previously worked as managers or professionals. If you don't fall into that group, this book may not appeal to you. These women, for the most part, also had husbands who could support their decision to stay home.In short, these women often had expensive college degrees and were high achievers. Stone also points out that women who tend to "opt out" are the exception, not the rule, citing studies that indicate that 70 percent of the women who are married mothers of preschoolers still continue to work. Turn this figure around and the reality is that one out of every four women DOES decide to stay home. This book is an exploration of these particular women and it is written in what I found to be a very nonjudgmental and open style. The author was also able to get some company heads to admit their mixed feelings about mothers in the workplace, their fears about them being less committed to their jobs or more likely to quit. Other areas covered in this book include:Most women quit only as a last resort (p. 18)Each woman's story was unique, often complex and with many factors.There was often ambivalence and a shifting of roles within the homeTheir decision did NOT signal a return to traditionalism (p. 19).Their former workplaces often made it difficult, if not impossible, for them to continue balancing family and work, rejecting their attempts to create innovations while maintaining productivity. If you'd like to know what is featured in each Chapter, here's a quick rundown: Chapter 1 - Looks at various women (the former Ivy League sports star, the CPA, the Consultant, an editor, a stock trader, etc) and their various experiences at work. Chapter 2- 3- Looks at the families, children and husbands. Chapter 4- Focuses on work, problems and challenges and factors that lead to a decision to opt out. Chapters 6-8 - Life at home, coping techniques, finding new identities. Chapter 9- Explores possible ways that women could continue to work (if they chose) and minimizing the obstacles that make staying home a necessity, not a choice.1 of 1 people found the following review helpful. Wonderful read, though not a resourceBy anna_rI absolutely loved this book. It is powerful, it is thought-provoking and it is therapeutic. Wonderfully written, it describes the joys and challenges of successful professionals in the past, who chose to leave their jobs. Stone's goal is to examine the true motivations that led to this decision. Feeling the family "pulls" and workplace "pushes" daily, it was reassuring for me to realize that I am not alone.Unfortunately, this book is not a good resource for someone like me - someone who is desperately looking for a survival guide, advice, or anything that would help in day-to-day challenges of combining work and family; or perhaps making the tough decision (albeit in my case with deep budget cuts across the board) to stay at home. This is more of an academic research paper than a practical guide for mothers (working or not). I almost cried reading the policy recommendations Stone provided at the end of the book - because they would be a life-savor at this point in my life.To summarize, this book does not have practical solutions, but it is insightful and non-judgmental. While many reviewers commented on the highly privileged status of the women Stone spotlights, I think the most important point of the book has little to do with it. It's not about the financial ability to stay at home. It is about the inability to continue working for women who wish to do so.I highly recommend it to anyone who is interested in understanding the real challenges working mothers experience both at work and at home.4 of 4 people found the following review helpful. Good ReadBy Wnderbar MuttiThis book was great. I would recommend this book to any women thinking about starting a family or anyone concerned with the shortage of women in corporate world. This book read almost like a novel since you follow the lives of several women. It is very enjoyable and dosen't preach about which choice is better for a women to make, working or staying at home. I really liked it and learned a lot. My one complaint is that women in this book are all super rich and had very powerful jobs. Perhaps the author should have looked at minority and middle class women as well.