From Library JournalIn this well-written and informative book, Mattes examines aspects of single motherhood. Her study functions as both a handbook for those who are single mothers by choice as well as a guide for women who are considering taking the plunge. Mattes's suggestions run the gamut from ideas about becoming pregnant or adopting to dealing with relatives, neighbors, and strangers, from parenting and answering the "daddy" questions to handling the legal aspects of parenthood. Appendixes include addresses of support groups, sample legal agreements, and a list of further readings. Although there are a number of books dealing with single parenthood, Mattes's guide deals with a special subset of that group: women who have chosen to parent alone. This very clearly written book is recommended for both public and academic libraries.Kay Brodie, Chesapeake Coll., Wye Mills, Md.Copyright 1994 Reed Business Information, Inc.From the Inside FlapThe first handbook for the paoidly growing number of American women choosing single motherhood, written by the director of the national organization, Single Mothers by Choice.About the AuthorJane Mattes, LCSW, BCD,has had her own psychotherapy practice in New York City for over twenty years. ForSingle Mothers by Choice, Mattes has drawn on her extensive professional counseling experience, her close contact with hundreds of members of the Single Mothers by Choice organization (which she founded in 1981 and still directs), and her personal experience as the single mother of an adult son. what books should a beginner read Single Mothers by Choice: A Guidebook for Single Women Who Are Considering or Have Chosen Motherhood
98 of 99 people found the following review helpful. Essential reading for single women contemplating motherhoodBy Carol C.There are a lot of books about there about being a single mom, but this is the only one I've found about deciding to become a single mom. Single Mothers by Choice is an organization comprised primarily of women in their thirties and forties who, for whatever reason, have not found a permanent relationship, but still want to be mothers and create families. I would guess that most of the readers of this book are educated professional women with ticking biological clocks who might have liked to raise children with Prince Charming in a traditional family setting, but that opportunity did not arise, so they are considering other alternatives. The book is directed at women who are not in a permanent relationship with someone who will assume a serious parenting role in the child's life; unmarried women who are part of a committed partnership, either straight or lesbian, and have already decided to start a family, might not find the book to be very useful. (In other words, although the book discusses adoption and donor insemination, this book's primary emphasis is NOT as a resource guide for couples who have already decided on adoption or insemination.) Jane Mattes, the author, is the single mother of a 17 year old son (at the time the book was written) and a counselor who has traveled around the country meeting with many single mothers by choice. The book discusses all of the things that a single woman should consider before embarking on motherhood, and provides lots of guidance and anecdotes for women who have made the decision. (I found the stories of other SMCs to be particularly helpful; reading about how some of the women's parents reacted to their decisions made me feel much better about the conversations I've had with my own parents.)This is not a feminist manifesto. The book doesn't necessarily encourage single motherhood; rather, it encourages women who want to become mothers to be aware of their options and make informed decisions about whether motherhood is right for them. The book doesn't minimize or ignore the possible difficulties that single mothers by choice may face, emotionally, financially, and in all ways. Although the incidence of single motherhood by choice is rapidly increasing, there is still a certain element of the population who thinks that you need to be 25 and happily married to be a good mother, and will not hesitate to pass judgment on a woman who chooses to go it alone. The book is particularly helpful in providing guidance on how to deal with that judgment, and it provides a lot of reassurance, through statistics and anecdotes, that a child born to a loving, caring single mother will likely turn out to be well-adjusted and just fine.Topics covered include a discussion of whether single motherhood is a good choice for any individual, ways through which to become a single mother (known unknown donor insemination, adoption, etc.), dealing with and telling others about the pregnancy, legal aspects of single motherhood, dealing with the "daddy" issue as the child becomes older, dating, subsequent marriage, and such. There is quite a bit in the book that deals with parenting as a single mother, rather than simply conception, pregnancy, and childbirth. It doesn't convey for a moment that single motherhood will be easy, but it does convey that for many women, it can be highly rewarding. The author emphasizes what is in the best interest of the children, and discusses the importance of having positive male role models in a child's life.1 of 1 people found the following review helpful. Gave this book to my sister. I wanted her ...By Loren LGave this book to my sister. I wanted her to feel confident that she didn't need to include her babies biological father in their lives, and that she could do it on her own if she wanted to.17 of 17 people found the following review helpful. Loved it!By A CustomerI am in the process right now of becoming a single mother. I actually bought and read this book two years ago and have been working to get to a place where I was ready to act out my choice. I found the book extremely helpful with regards to making the choice to do ADI. I had never even considered some of the scenarios that the author presented and they were in fact the things I was trying to avoid. Highly recommended if you are contemplating becoming a single mother.