From the Inside FlapAlmost half of all marriages end in divorce. If you are part of this statistic and have recently divorced, then you are no stranger to the emotional, relational, and financial burden that divorce often leaves behind. Like many others, you may be stuck in feelings of guilt, regret, and worry for the future. Learning from Divorce, by Christine A. Coates and E. Robert LaCrosse, is a practical book that will help you rid yourself of negative feelings of guilt and worry and replace them with positive feelings of growth and hope. Learning from Divorce will show you how to confront your fears and flaws, motivate you to move forward toward change, develop realistic hopes about succeeding with future relationships, and turn your failures into victories! In this groundbreaking book the authors explain that divorce can be viewed as a developmental process, a period of transformation and growth. They help the reader understand why the divorce happened in the first placehow unrealistic expectations of a permanent honeymoon or a partner who would satisfy their infantile needs and solve all their childhood problems have so often led to immature and self-centered behavior. In place of this attitude, Learning from Divorce provides the reader with a more realistic view of marriage as a long-term commitment requiring loyalty, compromise, devotion, perseverance, and selflessness. This book shows that the rewards of love and family exceed most any other joy or aspiration in ones life and will help you Understand how your hidden needs, developmental struggles, and other unresolved conflicts related to the cause of your divorce Learn which of your defenses, dependencies, and unrealistic expectations affect your relationship Know when its time to search for and evaluate a potential partner Focus on giving love rather than receiving it Filled with self-tests, checklists, and specific guidelines, this book will help you on your journey toward a new understanding of yourself. Learning from Divorce gives you the personal insight and motivation to stop the blame, take charge, and move forward with your life.From the Back CoverDivorce as a Developmental Process, a Period of Transformation and Growth "Learning from Divorce is empathic without being maudlin, optimistic without being Pollyanna-ish, and hopeful without being unrealistic. Its a must-read for anyone who is divorcing or has already divorced." Sue A. Waters, M.A., founder, Parenting After Divorce, Denver, Colorado "Coates and LaCrosse combine their collective years of experience and apply their insights, intellect, spirituality, and training to bring us this wonderful book, which will benefit everyone who has suffered through a failed relationship. Using their work to understand the dynamics of failed relationships brings promise of enriched present and future intimate partnerships." Hon. Arline S. Rotman (ret.), Massachusetts Probate and Family Court "Following divorce, many find their confidence shattered, yet most remarry. This book restores shaken confidence and gently confronts and fortifies the reader with how to fine-tune judgment and self-esteemthe keys to more successful future relationships." Carla B. Garrity and Mitchell A. Baris, coauthors, Caught in the Middle "At a time when people are feeling totally lost, Christie Coates and Robert LaCrosse have provided a personal road map, applicable to all, for finding a way back to themselves. Therapists and mediators will find this book to be a valuable resource for their clients as they traverse this most difficult time in their lives." Arnold Shienvold, Ph.D., psychologist and mediator, past president of the Association for Conflict Resolution and the Academy of Family MediatorsAbout the AuthorChristine A. Coates, J.D., is a lawyer who now focuses her practice on the mediation of divorce, child custody, and other family disputes. E. Robert LaCrosse, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist who specializes in working with families in high-conflict divorce. why do i love reading books Learning From Divorce: How to Take Responsibility, Stop the Blame, and Move On
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful. Very good self help book to help you get through the ...By Jewel WilliamsI sent this book to my x- husband .... Very good self help book to help you get through the pain of divorce.10 of 10 people found the following review helpful. Tools to Get It Right (Life Ain't No Ground Hog Day!)By Lawrence King, Divorce Attorney-MediatorPsychoanalyst Freud describes in his psychoanalytic theory of "repetition-compulsion," our tendency to re-enact earlier experiences for the mind to heal itself of trauma. Philosopher Santayana reminds us that those who ignore the lessons of history are doomed to repeat them. In "Learning from Divorce," divorce attorney-mediator Christie Coates and child custody and parenting evaluator-mediator Bob Lacrosse artfully provide tools for the sometimes painful, always challenging and often rewarding work of self-examination - in the aftermath of divorce. They urge the reader to: consider their role in choosing their partner and in the relationship's "breakup," discard the limiting myths of marriage, understand the divorce grieving process, shed old patterns of blame, and rediscover the authentic self."We don't have the luxury of Bill Murray's [wacky weatherman] character in [the movie] Ground Hog Day," the authors remind us. (There simply aren't unlimited chances in real life, to try and try again to "get it right" - to perfect our approaches to meaningful relationships.) "Learning From Divorce" provides powerful insight and practical direction in the HOW of rebuilding after, and even growing from, the often dark experience of divorce.As a conflict resolution professional assisting couples with this life passage and having experienced firsthand divorce's challenges, I found this book a unique distillation of many earlier researchers' work and at the same time, a fresh look with new approaches and tools. Highly recommended for the layperson and professional alike!8 of 8 people found the following review helpful. You REALLY can learn from divorce.By Leslye HAll too often when people separate or divorce they see it as catastrophic and the end of everything as it has been. They allow it to hold them back and get stuck in the anger, hurt, devestation and blaming. This book, written for the person going through it, is subtitled "How to take responsibility, stop the blame, move on" and that is exactly what it teaches. Any change can be painful; the more important the situation that is changed, the more painful it can be. One can be stymied and stagnated by that pain, or use it to learn and grow as a person. This amazing book guides you to become a better you; to understand how you got where you are and how to improve your chances in future relationships. It is a wonderful gift to give yourself or to anyone you love who is going through, or has gone through, a separation or divorce.